I used to over analyze and over think every step of every day and then wonder why I was so stressed out and why I couldn’t sleep. I used to worry about what people would say and how could I not be doing what “everyone” considered “the right thing”. I would sometimes worry about what all my friends were doing at 26.. 27.. 28 and why wasn’t I in line with them. Life is complicated. I know this is something most people are aware of but it honestly surprises me how complicated it can get. Pressures come from all directions; Family, Friends, Coworkers, Social Media. Our families have expectations (and sometimes entitlement to tell you how they feel) and therefore an Opinion about what we should do with our lives. The government has standards and guidelines set forth for us so we know what we should or shouldn’t do in most circumstances. Then our friends make all different kinds of religious, ethical, and lifestyle choices that lead them to have different ideas of how we “should” live. Don’t even get me started on social media which helps people portray there lives as much more glamorous then they might actually be, causing us to feel insignificant and confused about our path. Many people feel the need to tell us how we should spend or save our money and what is the appropriate thing to do in each aspect of our lives. It is all of these pressures that cause us to have these expectations (sometimes unrealistic) for our own lives.
In reality (remember reality?) you will never walk a mile in anyone’s shoes. OK maybe literally if you borrowed shoes from someone and walked a mile which is totally plausible then you would finish this task. More then likely you will never completely understand what goes on behind closed doors and between relationships that you are not involved in. A preacher recently spoke about how this kind of pressure is from the devil. Calm down, I’m not saying your coworker is the devil because she thinks you should have another baby already because you’re 30 (incase you forgot how old you were ha)! Your loved ones are doing and saying what they think to be right but if it isn’t what God is leading you to do then its leading you astray, period. Even if you have been thru similar situations like going thru a legal issue, losing a child, losing a job, not having children, buying a house… I mean you get the picture. My divorce isn’t the same as yours and therefore might not proceed the same. The amount of children you have might make another mother crazy while for you it is just perfect. You may have always dreamt of buying a house and feel like everyone should and I might think renting and having that freedom is just the bees knees. No person or families journey in life is equal, even if some of my life mirrors yours there are still thousands of reasons why we might not end up 10 years from now still paralleled
So… I woke up one morning around the beginning of the new year and decided to really give it to God. I mean seriously I give everything to God now. If I cant finish the dishes directly after dinner I just think WWJD not what would friend A, friend B, or friend C do because of course I assume they would never leave dirty dishes in their sinks for even minutes . If it comes down to me enjoying 30 minutes with my partner and child on the living room floor laughing or stressing about washing that last pan I feel like my loving Lord and savior would want me to spend my time with my family. This does mean that maybe they go to bed before me and that’s OK because I can function on 5 hours of sleep and God is the one who makes that possible. Everyone has gifts from God maybe yours is helping kids, listening, being crafty or giving advice (maybe you should ask him what your other gifts are haha J/K). I am no longer going to stress about where I am going or where I “Should” be. I will politely listen to everyone’s opinions but only truly listen to God when we make any important decisions. Only God knows our hearts and our character and nothing anyone says can make him change his mind about us. No bad mouthing, negativity, or unnecessary pressure from the devil can bring us down and no judgment’s from others are going to affect my day or my destiny. As long as my family (My partner and our children) serve the Lord and asks him to guide us we will never be lost. Our dreams are our own and no ones bad vibes can change the fact that I know God has sent me in this direction and we will succeed with his guidance.
If we could spend more time uplifting each other and less time pointing out each others problems and weaknesses we could each become stronger and more successful. I am sure that single mother is aware she is single and doesn’t need everyone reminding her that she should find a partner. I’m sure that entrepreneur knows the extreme risk they face by quitting their job and starting that business and probably doesn’t need you mentioning how scary it is. I’m sure that poor man on vacation knows he should be trying to make more money but instead is enjoying precious moments with his family that he will never regret. I challenge you to think before you give advice. You might not be “getting thru” to that person with your concerns and in fact you might be making them question God s plan for them, or even worse questioning your place in their lives completely.
I know what God has planned for my family and it is going to be an extremely difficult journey but its OUR journey and I am nothing but excited.